


And Then I Will Leave Gently

by Selenophile (Jdoesitbetter)



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst without a happy ending, Break Up, Established Relationship, F/M, Heavy Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Modern Era, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:34:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23424823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jdoesitbetter/pseuds/Selenophile
Summary: “Robert Baratheon is dead.” She says, looking him dead in the eye, willing her voice not to break on her. “Robert’s dead and you didn’t come home on time.”Jaime looks and puts his hand on the back of his head as he breathes out. “Brienne I-“ he starts.“I don’t need you to tell me where you were,” She interrupts, “I know where you were,” her voice cracks through it, tears beginning to make their way into the corners of her eyes.”
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	And Then I Will Leave Gently

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally just an exercise sitting in my docs because I find arguments and angst difficult to write. I decided to finish it and post because why not? Unbetaed. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Title from Brenna Twohy “Forgive Me My Salt”

The keys jingle in the lock as Jaime opens the door and walks in. Brienne’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“Hey babe, sorry I’m late I meant to text but I didn’t, it’s been-“ he begins, pausing as he notices the suitcase in her hand, and the backpack strapped to her back. 

“Where are you going?” He asks, voice full of concern. 

“Home,” Brienne says, “to Tarth.” 

“Is everything ok? Did something happen to Selwyn?” His brows furrowing deeper in true concern, voice slightly alarmed. 

“Everything’s fine. My dad’s fine.” 

“Then why are you going to Tarth at one in the morning?” He says. Voice back to confusion. She looks away, unable to meet his gaze. 

“Brienne?” He prods, when she doesn’t answer. And maybe it’s in her eyes as her gaze shifts back to him. Or maybe he sees it in the tension in her shoulders, or the way her hand grips her suitcase for dear life. Maybe he’s just not the stupidest Lannister and can read it from context. Regardless, she sees the moment the realization comes reflect in his emerald green eyes, gaze going steely and distant. 

He turns from her, stripping off his jacket in angry jerky motions before hanging it on the rack they put in the corner. A Jack now missing her jackets. 

“At least have the guts to say it Brienne.” He says, his voice cold and sounding so distant from the Jaime she knows. He turns back to face her, eyes pinning her where she stands. Challenging her. She steels herself. 

“I’m- I’m leaving.” She finally gets out. Jaime works his jaw and lifts his hands in question. 

“Were you going to say anything?”

“I left a note.” She mumbles. Jaime scoffs. 

“A note. You left a note.” He says in disbelief. She looks on in silence. “If you’re unhappy, if I did something, we can work it out. We can talk about whatever this is Brienne.” 

Brienne sighs, eyes closing and her hand lifts to push her hair back. She meant to bypass having to explain herself to him, but the gods aren’t favoring her tonight. “It’s nothing that can be fixed Jaime. I just- it’s just me, ok? I need time.” 

“Bullshit.” He says, spittle flying from his mouth on the T. “Don’t ‘It's not you, it’s me’ me. If I did something, tell me what it was so I can fix it.” He demands, walking up to her. Invading her space. “Tell me.” He says, softer but urgent, and grabbing her wrist. She jerks away from him and he blinks in surprise. 

“Robert Baratheon is dead.” She says, looking him dead in the eye, willing her voice not to break on her. “Robert’s dead and you didn’t come home on time.”

Jaime looks and puts his hand on the back of his head as he breathes out. “Brienne I-“ he starts. 

“I don’t need you to tell me where you were,” She interrupts, “I know where you were,” her voice cracks through it, tears beginning to make their way into the corners of her eyes. 

“Brienne-“ he moves to grab her again, but she moves away. 

“Don’t.” She whispers, tears managing to spill over. “Please don’t.” If he touches her she might break. If he touches her she might stay. 

“Nothing happened with us, Brienne, I swear. She called me and begged me to come to her. I went but nothing happened. She cried a bit, I held her, but I didn’t cave. Please believe that I would betray you like that.” Jaime explains, voice pleading.

_ I didn’t cave.  _ Which means she offered. Which means she’ll try again. 

“What happens next time?” She finds herself saying. And gods she didn’t want to. She wanted to steal off to Tarth in the middle of the night and block his number for a while. Come back to it all later. But she’s here now.

“Next time?” He questions, and by the gods maybe he is just a little bit stupid. 

“Next time she calls Jaime. The next time she cries and offers? What happens then?”

“I say no again.” He says. Wrong answer. 

She laughs, it’s all she can do to keep from outright sobbing. “Is there ever a scenario where you just don’t go to her at all?”

At first he says nothing, and then, “Her husband just died. All our baggage aside, she’s still my sister.”

“I know. And I’d never make you choose between us Jaime.” She says. She doesn’t know what she’d do if he didn’t choose her.

“No. You’d just steal off to Tarth in the middle of the night, leave a note on the counter, and hope I go away with Cersei after that, huh?” he says, anger returning to his voice. 

“You’re already a way!” She says, voice nearly at a shout. “You’ve been screwing your sister for half your life. You’re away already Jaime.”

“You knew that! You knew that from the beginning! Stop trying to play the victim, you knew!”

“I knew and I was dumb enough to get involved anyway. Swayed by a pretty face.” She says, sardonically. 

“Gods here we go again,” Jaime says, lifting his hands in the air. “Does calling yourself ugly ever get tiring?”

“I didn’t call myself ugly.” Brienne says, voice flat. 

“Oh but that’s what this is really about though, right? That I went to comfort my beautiful sister who I used to fuck, and now you’re feeling a bit insecure is that it?” He reminds her of old Jaime just then. Of the miserable man who used to say anything to hurt someone, just so he’d have a little comfort.

“Stop it.” She demands. “Stop trying to hurt me.”

“Stop trying to leave me!” he half shouts, half begs. They stare at each other for a tense moment. Reflection of each other's teary eyes shining off of each other. Brienne looks away first. 

“Jaime, look it's for the best. We wouldn’t have worked in the end anyways.” She says quietly, as if she’s trying to convince herself more than him. 

“You can’t possibly know that. We were working just fine. We were fine until you decided we weren’t.” He grits out in a mix of disbelief and frustration.

“I can know that. We’re different people Jaime-”

“Oh please stop-”

“-We are two different people-”

“-lying to yourself.”

“-with different lives. And it’s too late for either of us to change.” She finishes, voice rising over his. Jaime pins her with a hard glare.

“Just be honest Brienne, for both our sakes. You’ve had one foot out of the door this entire relationship and now you’re using Cersei as an excuse to run away from actually being loved by someone.”

“You don’t love me.”

“How can you say that?”

“You don’t love me Jaime. You love the idea of me. You love the man you are when you’re with me.” She states this as a fact, because it is one. She knows that Jaime sees her as the furthest thing from his Lannister ways that he is desperate to escape. 

“Of course I do. You make me a better man Brienne.” He says, incredulously. 

“I don’t want to make you a better man. Just be a better man. I’m not a footstool for your betterment!” She says, looking at him hard in his eyes. 

“Seven hells woman what do you want from me?! You said I was a dishonorable asshole and then I try not to be a dishonorable asshole and now I’m using you for betterment? What do you want? Tell me!” He yells. 

She cracks then. “I want to go home! Sevens sake I just want to go the fuck home!” She fully sobs. It’s too much to fight with him right now. Her feelings are hurt enough. Jaime sighs as he runs his hands through his hair, he then approaches her and wraps his arms around her. She doesn’t have it in her to brush him off again. He rubs her back as she cries into his shoulder. 

“Can I at least give you a ride to the airport?” He murmura against her ear. His voice sounds wet and she imagines he’s crying too. She gives a weak nod against his shoulder but doesn’t move. A moment later he pulls back and looks at her. He had been crying, his eyes were bloodshot with tears. 

“Come on then.” He says as he grabs his jacket and keys again. 

They spend most of the twenty minute ride in somber silence. Brienne can’t bear to look at him, so she looks out of the window instead. As they approach the entrance to the airport, Jaime begins to speak. 

“Listen I… I know you need time and space. I can give you that. But I need you to know that Cersei is really my past, and you are my now and future.” He goes silent again as they veer off to the departure section. He pulls into the drop off lane and puts his hazards on before getting out of the car to get her bags. Brienne follows him out, and as she takes her bags from him she says, “Jaime I… thank you. For the ride,” her eyes not quite able to meet his gaze. Jaime reaches for her hand. 

“Call me. Promise me you’ll call me.” He says. She looks at him then, able to see the desperation and pleading clear on his face. A part of her wants to say she will. But she knows the truth. She says nothing as she releases his hand, and walks into the airport. She doesn’t look back. 

  
  
  



End file.
